Its 1 AM and I dread going to work. That is why I am up. If I go to bed, I will have to get up. And we all know what happens when an employed adult gets up. Oh yes, he goes to work. Well I don't want to. I hate the thought of going. I hate it so much that it actually keeps me awake at night. But I go anyway. Day after day. And it's wearing me out physically as well as emotionally. There is no one to talk to, and when I get home, I am so tired that I'd rather be alone. This is not the way I want to feel. I want to have friends. But you know what they say, in order to have a friend, you must be a friend. I think I would like to talk to my friends, but I realize I have nothing to say. Because I spend so much time working, I do nothing of interest. I am a boring person now. I remember having fun, but memories are not real. Memories of good times are not enough to keep friendships alive. They require constant care, and I have not been feeding the fires. They are all slowly dying, some more quickly than others, and soon, I will be left to myself. I will be alone and miserable and aching in body and spirit.